Ending Your Victim Mindset

After experiencing a childhood full of disappointment, relationship issues, or other troubling life events, many people unconsciously cope by embracing a victim mindset.

Common characteristics of this type of mentality include:

• A thought pattern that suggests that bad things will “always” happen
• Difficulty recognizing the impact, power, and choice one has in life
• Fault-find and excessive complaining
• Adopting the belief that life circumstances are beyond personal control
• Feelings of hopelessness and fear
• Considering the behaviors of others as personal attacks

If you need help reframing your victim mindset, follow these 5 brief steps:

Accept responsibility. When you acknowledge accountability for your response to life’s circumstances, you strengthen your potential and power to change them.

Identify and address self-sabotaging feelings. One general component of victim mentalities is fear. Explore yourself. What unsettled fears do you have about exerting your power in constructive ways? How can you begin to trust your personal abilities? Experiencing emotion is an essential element of human existence. Keep in mind that unsettling emotions indicate that something is wrong and needs improvement; they do not define who you are.

Forgo the benefits of having a victim mindset. Realize that sympathy, attention, and pity do not serve you. They keep you stuck and intensify your identity as a victim.

Forgive. Let go of past pain. To be trapped in your past is to live entirely, and obsessively through memory and anticipation of hurt. Forgiveness will help you transition into improved thinking and living.

Revisit your goals. Regain your power by creating the life you want. Re-explore your dreams and establish a plan to bring them to life. Abandoning the comfort of your self-defeating thoughts evolves your victim mentality into independence and self-respect.

Allow past trials to be a suit of armor, not chains. You are a victor.